A Nerd on Sports

•July 1, 2009 • 2 Comments

Today marks the first day of free agency in the NBA. Are there any big names in the market right now? Kobe Bryant, Allen Iverson, Pops Mensah-Bonsu just to name a few. Will my favorite team, the Dallas Mavericks, make a big splash in free agency and finally have a true supporting cast to surround the 2006-2007 MVP, Dirk Nowitzki? Probably not. We’ll end up keeping Jason Kidd, hopefully getting rid of Jerry Stackhouse’s contract, and trading Ericka Dampier.  Who do I want to see in a Mavs jersey next season? Tyson Chandler.

The Hornets made it clear last season that Chandler’s contract wasn’t worth keeping around. With CP3, Peja, and David West, Chandler’s athleticism and defensive presence was often overshadowed. On the Mavs, he could be a dominating force manning the middle. Jason Kidd’s lobs wouldn’t go to airballed layups like it does now to Damp. He would cut down on Dirk and Kidd’s need to rebound the ball and allow them to focus on defensive assignments and pushing the ball in transition. We would limit the double teams to Dirk and Terry in the perimeter because there would always be someone to dump the ball down to in the paint. Combined with the blocked shots and defense first mentality, Tyson Chandler becomes a great asset.

How could this deal possibly go down, you ask, my weary Mavericks fans? We’ll have to part ways with our former second in command, Josh Howard, give up the much coveted Jerry Stackhouse contract, and hell, give them Dampier. Pay out some cash money to make all the numbers balance, and there you have it.

Here’s a projected line up for the 2009-2010 season:
PG – Jason Kidd
SG – Jason Terry
SF – Antoine Wright / A possible Marquis Daniels return?
PF – Dirk Nowitzki
C – Tyson Chandler

With Brandon Bass providing energy off the bench, JJ Barea as our back up point guard, and possibly another addition to the team with the mid-level exception, I believe the Mavs could be a true force in the west. Will it be enough to take down the Lakers? Probably not. We’d need to sign Jesus for that. But in a west with the Yao-less Rockets, the departure of chronic-step-on-your-foot-when-you’re-going-to-shoot-so-that-you-hurt-yourself Bruce Bowen (waste of human flesh) from the Spurs, and Denver’s entire bench being unrestricted free agents, the Mavs will be ready to compete.

The Ediety Knot

•June 30, 2009 • 2 Comments

For those of you that don’t know, I love ties. Fancy ties, fruity ties, any kind of ties. Don’t know what to get me for my birthday? Just want to show me how much I mean to you? Stick with a tie.

Today, I learned how to tie a new knot. It’s not just any knot: it’s god’s knot. More specifically, it’s the knot that was used in The Matrix Reloaded. The Ediety Knot. One of the weirdest knots I’ve ever seen. And now it is mine. You have been warned, preceptor.

Now for those of you interested in learning this mysterious artform, youtube.com it. there’s a jolly asian fellow that’s willing to teach you. He taught me, so anything is possible. Basically, this knot is performed with the thin end of the tie – a little bit of role reversal. Kinky, I know. No pun intended.

Just how sexy is it? Well, I did it with one of my shittier ties, so ignore that and focus on the coolness of the knot. Also ignore the fact that I’m wearing a t-shirt. Imagine, men – or ladies – walking into a gala with a tie no mere mortal has the testicular fortitude to don. It could be you too.

Now is this only about a silly knot? No! Am I rambling like a baffoon out of sheer boredom? Perhaps! Nonetheless, today is a life changing day. Remember this day, men, for it will be yours for all time.

Me

•June 29, 2009 • Leave a Comment

So I’ve wasted the past 6 hours of my life playing with random crap on my phone. And I just wrote a post and my phone decided to hate me so I have to write it again. That ever happen to you? You write a nice email conveying your love and undying passion for someone and then your computer decides to die or Mozilla unexpectedly quits. Me neither.

I’m not sure who’s actually going to read this other than my two loyal fans (one being my mom). I hope I don’t offend either of them because that would really cut down on my influence. I needed something to kill time over the summer so I decided to start a blog. That and I haven’t plugged in the wii yet. And I ran out of beer. Hope my mom didn’t read that.

This would be much more exciting if I was backpacking through Mongolia or saving lives in Nicaragua like some of my fellow bloggers and classmates. I’ll be doing neither from the comforts of my livingroom.

On a more exciting note, I really need to do laundry. Like 5 loads at least. I could have brought it all home for my mom to do, but I didn’t. Perhaps I looked more responsible to her, but I feel like an idiot now. A big slobby idiot. Whose closet vomited. Repeatedly.

Yeah I’m done. So is my Jones soda. Life is good.